So that's how the first day I met Caleb Grant began. At first he was cautious around me-I think he was trying to decide if I was really as nice as I said I was to the "outsiders". What he didnt know is that, whereas I wasn't outwardly mean to the outsiders, I pretty much just ignored them. They were insignificant to me; that's what I used to think.
This all took place about 2 or 3 months ago. Ever since that first day, Caleb sat at lunch with me, and we'd just make small talk, but the friendship was obviously growing. We even got to where we had nicknames for each other-he called me Zanne and I called him Cale.
"So, Zanne, care to tell me why you don't sit with the other kids?" he asked one day.
"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly the most popular girl at school. The other 'outsiders' don't like me because I'm one of them, and the local kids hate me because I don't participate in their pranks on the new kids," I replied.
"Oh...so what makes me different from the other 'outsiders'?" He wasn't really sure what else to say.
Although I wasn't sure where this was going, I decided to respond anyway. "I don't know, I think you'd have to ask yourself that question, since you're the one who decides to have lunch withme. I mean, you're really the first new student who hasn't left me after the first day. Usually the kids sit with me the first day because their scared to go anywhere else, and they know that I have to at least show them around."
"Oh...that's really stupid. Cuz, I mean, you're a really cool personl. People around here are jerks."
I hope he didnt notice my blushing, but I'm pretty sure my cheeks were more red than the feathers of a cardinal. HE ACTUALLY THOUGHT I WAS COOL!!!! The thought of this sent shivers down my spine and excitement through my veins. I've really got to get this under control I thought. He kinda gave me that same smug look that he had the first day I met him when I was speechless. I quickly recovered and said thanks, playing it off as nothing big.
Everything was going so smooth up until then. Later that night was the first of a series of missing teenagers; something strange was about to happen.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
The Outsider-Chapter 3
"My n-name's..." I stuttered like a fool trying to remember my name.
"Yes?" he answered with a sort of smug look on his face.
Before I finished my sentence like an idiot, I composed myself and said with complete confidence, "My name is Suzanne Bethany Lee, thank you very much." I'm not sure where that sarcastic attitude came from, but I wasn't used to people talking to me as if I were the one looking stupid. I hope he didnt think of me as a stuck up brat who gets everything she wants. Not to mention his green eyes seemed to burn a hole into mine. It was like all at once his presence made me feel so strong but at the same time very vulnerable. There was defnitely something strange about this kid.
While all of this was running through my mind, I hadnt noticed him staring at me so intensely.
"So you say your name is Suzanne Lee? I hear you show the new students around."
I smiled (I hope he didnt notice my blushing).
"Do all new students get treated this way?"
By this time I realized that staying quiet was not an option.
"Um, yes that's correct. Please, forgive me for being so incredibly rude. Let me reintroduce my self the proper way: Hi, I'm Suzanne Lee. You can call me Suzie or Anne, or whatever I dont really mind. Welcome to Confederate High School." I could tell by his facial expression that he wasnt sure what had just happened with this newfound kindess, but that he was willing to except it.
So I looked at his schedule, showed him to all of his classes, and showed him where his locker was. Turns out we were in the same grade, had a few classes together, and our lockers weren't right next to each other, but in the same hallway. There's only so much room a high school of less than 1,000 kids. Confederate High probably had somewhere between 850-900 students, most of which were freshmen and sophomores.
Around lunch time, since I'm the courteous hostess, I asked Caleb if he'd like to eat lunch with me. When he agreed, I felt a surge of excitement run through my veins (what is wrong with me?!?! I never act like this!). We walked through the line, got the oh-so-yummy cafeteria food, and headed for the courtyard, which was outside. Caleb started heading for the tables, but before he had a chance to ask why, he followed me to a tree in the back corner. I sat down at the little table behind the giant live oak.
"Why arent you sitting with the rest of the students?" he asked me.
"You have no idea where you live now, do you Caleb Grant?" I said in that same sarcastic tone (which I must stop, because if I dont, I'll be alone forever!).
"Uh...I guess not. Care to explain?"
I let out a sigh and told him to sit down. Over the course of lunch I pretty much recited the town's history, just as I've heard it hundreds-if not thousands-of times.
"Yes?" he answered with a sort of smug look on his face.
Before I finished my sentence like an idiot, I composed myself and said with complete confidence, "My name is Suzanne Bethany Lee, thank you very much." I'm not sure where that sarcastic attitude came from, but I wasn't used to people talking to me as if I were the one looking stupid. I hope he didnt think of me as a stuck up brat who gets everything she wants. Not to mention his green eyes seemed to burn a hole into mine. It was like all at once his presence made me feel so strong but at the same time very vulnerable. There was defnitely something strange about this kid.
While all of this was running through my mind, I hadnt noticed him staring at me so intensely.
"So you say your name is Suzanne Lee? I hear you show the new students around."
I smiled (I hope he didnt notice my blushing).
"Do all new students get treated this way?"
By this time I realized that staying quiet was not an option.
"Um, yes that's correct. Please, forgive me for being so incredibly rude. Let me reintroduce my self the proper way: Hi, I'm Suzanne Lee. You can call me Suzie or Anne, or whatever I dont really mind. Welcome to Confederate High School." I could tell by his facial expression that he wasnt sure what had just happened with this newfound kindess, but that he was willing to except it.
So I looked at his schedule, showed him to all of his classes, and showed him where his locker was. Turns out we were in the same grade, had a few classes together, and our lockers weren't right next to each other, but in the same hallway. There's only so much room a high school of less than 1,000 kids. Confederate High probably had somewhere between 850-900 students, most of which were freshmen and sophomores.
Around lunch time, since I'm the courteous hostess, I asked Caleb if he'd like to eat lunch with me. When he agreed, I felt a surge of excitement run through my veins (what is wrong with me?!?! I never act like this!). We walked through the line, got the oh-so-yummy cafeteria food, and headed for the courtyard, which was outside. Caleb started heading for the tables, but before he had a chance to ask why, he followed me to a tree in the back corner. I sat down at the little table behind the giant live oak.
"Why arent you sitting with the rest of the students?" he asked me.
"You have no idea where you live now, do you Caleb Grant?" I said in that same sarcastic tone (which I must stop, because if I dont, I'll be alone forever!).
"Uh...I guess not. Care to explain?"
I let out a sigh and told him to sit down. Over the course of lunch I pretty much recited the town's history, just as I've heard it hundreds-if not thousands-of times.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
The Outsider - Chapter 2
Caleb Grant was ordinary at first glance. He dressed, acted, and looked overall like your average every day teenager. It was when you really looked at him, studied his features, that you could see the difference. He had a presence about him, something intangible that no one could quite figure out what it was. Or at least that's how he puts it. He says back in his hometown he's one of the most popular kids in school. He's not stuck up, he just "tells the truth" (i think he's a little too confident sometimes haha). Although he can come off a little bit cocky sometimes, he truly does seem to have a humble attitude most of the time. He loves helping people in any way he can. He says thats what made him so popular back home. Well, that may be true, but I'm sure his dark brown hair and gorgeous green eyes had something to do with it.
The townspeople weren't really sure how to accept him and his mom when they first moved. You see, his grandparents and uncle on his dad's side have lived in the city for years. So although he does have roots here, they aren't sure whether to really accept or reject their relatives. His grandparents loved him, even though they weren't crazy about his mom (they never really got along with their daughter-in-law); his uncle didnt care for either of them.
I remember the first time I saw him. It was in the middle of October on a cool, clear day. Days like those were perfect, and this day was no exception. Around school, everyone thinks of me as the "good girl" and for the most part they were right. Taking risks wasnt my thing. So whenever there was a new student, I always volunteered, whether he or she was an "outsider" or a Jr. Higher coming to the high school for the first time. So that's how it all began. I remember the first words he said to me: "Hello, I'm Caleb Grant. What's your name?" And for the first time in my life, I was dumbfounded.
The townspeople weren't really sure how to accept him and his mom when they first moved. You see, his grandparents and uncle on his dad's side have lived in the city for years. So although he does have roots here, they aren't sure whether to really accept or reject their relatives. His grandparents loved him, even though they weren't crazy about his mom (they never really got along with their daughter-in-law); his uncle didnt care for either of them.
I remember the first time I saw him. It was in the middle of October on a cool, clear day. Days like those were perfect, and this day was no exception. Around school, everyone thinks of me as the "good girl" and for the most part they were right. Taking risks wasnt my thing. So whenever there was a new student, I always volunteered, whether he or she was an "outsider" or a Jr. Higher coming to the high school for the first time. So that's how it all began. I remember the first words he said to me: "Hello, I'm Caleb Grant. What's your name?" And for the first time in my life, I was dumbfounded.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Courage
Something happened to me Saturday night. I was reading my devotional book and the topic was about Courage. The second question was "how do I find the courage to face change?" As I read those words, it felt like God Himself pointed it out. If you have talked to me at all recently, you probably have heard about my youth group splitting up into youth group and college and career class. Being in such a small youth group for the past 4 years, we've really grown close, despite the age differences. I don't want the change and most of the people that would be in the C&C class don't want it either. the book says that being paralyzed by fear of change shows that you doubt God's ability to take care of you. It showed me that I really shouldn't be afraid, or even mad. After reading, I just decided to start praying. I thought about how I am not living for God to my full potential. I broke down and began to cry because something else occurred to me-I've got things, people even-that are holding me back from reaching my full potential. I want to be sold out for Christ. So I made a decision to cut off these weights that pull me down. And the reason I began to cry was because I didn't want to do this (some of the people that hold me back are people I've known for 7+ years). So although I know I've got some things to let go, it will be worth it in the end. I would appreciate your prayers as my church begins the groups, for our attitudes, and for me as I try to live in my full potential.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
The Outsider-Chapter 1
Have you ever been on the outside of a secret? Ever felt like everyone else knew something you didn't? That's the exact same way Caleb Grant felt when he moved to Leetown, Virginia. After his dad lost a long battle of lung cancer, Caleb and his mom, Beth, moved to this small town off the coast of Virginia. I, by the way, am his best friend, Suzanne.
I'm not exactly sure how we got to this point. The past twenty-four hours has gone so fast; I dont know if i can recount all of the events that have taken place. I suppose from the starting point would be best. First, you must know the background story to the tiny, mysterious Leetown, VA.
Robert Edward, the son of Confederate hero, Robert E. Lee, founded the town in October 1875, along with his brothers and sisters. They wanted to establish a town in honor of their father. Not many people know where the town is. The people that live here take their heritage seriously-maybe a little too seriously at times. Most of the locals-including my family-are direct descendants from the Lee's. My family comes from the line of one of his daughters, Annie.
It wasnt until about six years ago that the population really started to increase. Not many people want a lot of city folk coming in, so they intentionally are rude and mean to the "outsiders"; that's the term that the locals call the new people. If you or your family haven't lived here within the past 100 years, then you're and "outsider". It's not just the older people who talk about the newcomers like that; the students at Confederate High School can be just as mean. Like I said, we love our heritage here, sometimes a little too much. I was the same way. That was before I met him: Caleb Grant.
I'm not exactly sure how we got to this point. The past twenty-four hours has gone so fast; I dont know if i can recount all of the events that have taken place. I suppose from the starting point would be best. First, you must know the background story to the tiny, mysterious Leetown, VA.
Robert Edward, the son of Confederate hero, Robert E. Lee, founded the town in October 1875, along with his brothers and sisters. They wanted to establish a town in honor of their father. Not many people know where the town is. The people that live here take their heritage seriously-maybe a little too seriously at times. Most of the locals-including my family-are direct descendants from the Lee's. My family comes from the line of one of his daughters, Annie.
It wasnt until about six years ago that the population really started to increase. Not many people want a lot of city folk coming in, so they intentionally are rude and mean to the "outsiders"; that's the term that the locals call the new people. If you or your family haven't lived here within the past 100 years, then you're and "outsider". It's not just the older people who talk about the newcomers like that; the students at Confederate High School can be just as mean. Like I said, we love our heritage here, sometimes a little too much. I was the same way. That was before I met him: Caleb Grant.
The Outsider - Disclaimer
Okay for quite sometime now I've been really wanting to write a story, and i knew what the theme (so to say) would be, but not exactly what the plot should be. But for some reason around 12:15 AM-when i was half asleep-the idea came to me. So now that i know what i want to do, I will begin writing it. So before i post the first chapter, I'll let you read a little about the story. The names of the places have been made up, as far as I know. The story is told through the main character's best friend, Suzanne.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE OUTSIDER
Caleb Grant-or as I like to call him, Cale-was a regular, ordinary kid from what I could see. His clothes, personality, hobbies; he represented the american teenager very well. There is only one conflict-he is an outsider.
In 2003, Leetown, VA, had a population that had not changed for decades. But in the past six years there's been an increase, and the locals can't figure out what draws people to the small town life, nor are they welcoming the newcomers.
All through the past there have been strange disappearances in the little Virginian town. Most people blame it on the wildlife; there's even been sightings of Bigfoot reported. But when the dissapearances start increasing, Caleb (the newest "outsider"), his best friend Suzanne, and her brother, Derek, decide to take matters into their own hands and find out who (or what) is taking these people.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE OUTSIDER
Caleb Grant-or as I like to call him, Cale-was a regular, ordinary kid from what I could see. His clothes, personality, hobbies; he represented the american teenager very well. There is only one conflict-he is an outsider.
In 2003, Leetown, VA, had a population that had not changed for decades. But in the past six years there's been an increase, and the locals can't figure out what draws people to the small town life, nor are they welcoming the newcomers.
All through the past there have been strange disappearances in the little Virginian town. Most people blame it on the wildlife; there's even been sightings of Bigfoot reported. But when the dissapearances start increasing, Caleb (the newest "outsider"), his best friend Suzanne, and her brother, Derek, decide to take matters into their own hands and find out who (or what) is taking these people.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
I and Love and You
Jamie from TWLOHA posted this on the website. Its a mission statement from a band called the Avett Brothers. This has got to be one of the best definitions of the words "i love you" i've ever heard. It's so true. Since I've been thinking a lot lately about God's love and how we should love others, I wanted to share this with you =) Enjoy!
"The words "I" and "Love" and "You" are the watermark of humanity. Strung together, they convey our deepest sense of humility, of power, of truth. It is our most common sentiment, even as the feeling of it is so infinitely uncommon: each to proclaim these three words with his or her very own heart and mindset of reason (or lack thereof); a proclamation completely and perfectly new each time it is offered. Uttered daily and nightly by millions, the words are said in an unending array of circumstances : whispered to a newborn in a mothers arms; shared between best friends on the playground; in the form of sympathy - said by a girl to a boy, as the respect continues but the relationship does not. It is said too loudly by parents to embarassed children in the company of their friends, and by grown children - to their fading parents in hospital beds. The words are thought in the company of the photograph and said in the company of the gravestone. It is how we end our phone calls and our letters... the words at the bottom of the page that trump all those above it, a way to gracefully finish a message, however important or trivial, with the most meaningful gift of all : the communication of love. And yet the words themselves have been the victims of triviality, a ready replacement for lesser salutations among near strangers, burst forth casually as "love ya." Truly? To what degree? Why, how much, and for how long? These are questions befitting of the stature of love, though not the everyday banter of vague acquaintance. The words have also been twisted by the dark nature of deceit : To say "I love you" with a dramatic measure of synthetic emotion; a snare set by those who prey uponn fellow humanity, driven to whatever selfish end, to gain access to another's body, or their money, or their opportunity. In this realm, the proclamation is disgraced by one seeking to gain rather than to give. In any case, and by whatever inspiration, these words are woven deeply in to the fibers of our existence. Our longing to hear them from the right place is maddeningly and simultaneously our finest strength and our most gentle weakness.The album "I and Love and You" is unashamedly defined by such a dynamic of duality. As living people, we are bound by this unavoidable parallel. We are powerful yet weak, capable yet temporary. Inevitably, an attempt to place honesty within an artistic avenue will follow suit. This is a piece which shows us as we are : products of love surrounded by struggle. The music herein is, in many ways, readable as both a milestone and an arrival. A chapter in the story of young men, it bridges the space between the uncertainty of youth and the reality of it's release. The record is full with the quality of the question and response. As far as questions go, there are plenty-normally residing within the tone and delivery of the lyrics themselves, which, ironically, are sung with so much confidence. Among songs and thoughts so driven and purposeful, the most basic relatable doubt comes through with a resounding clarity. Outside of the eternal theme of romantic love, the album speaks thankfully upon a landscape of light-filled rooms, word-filled pages, time machines, forgiveness, singing birds, ocean waves, art ,change, confessions of shortcomings, and reasons to continue on. Hope and a cause for smiling follow naturally. In the midst of all this, there are allusions to the less-than-ideal conditions of life : the loss of memory, the inability to control temper, insecurity, indecision, jaded indifference, and the general plague of former and current weakness. "I and Love and You" is an album of obvious human creation, chracterized by it's best and it's worst. Emotional imperfection is a reality for those who recorded the piece, just as it is for those who will hear it. The conclusion of the song from which the title is taken admits that the words "I love you" have become "hard to say". And perhaps that difficulty is as common as it's counterpart. Perhaps the inability to say these heaviest of words is as much a part of life as the lighthearted candor of those who say them without any difficulty at all. And so it ends with the phrase whispered to and by those of us most defeated and most elated... I and love and you..."
"The words "I" and "Love" and "You" are the watermark of humanity. Strung together, they convey our deepest sense of humility, of power, of truth. It is our most common sentiment, even as the feeling of it is so infinitely uncommon: each to proclaim these three words with his or her very own heart and mindset of reason (or lack thereof); a proclamation completely and perfectly new each time it is offered. Uttered daily and nightly by millions, the words are said in an unending array of circumstances : whispered to a newborn in a mothers arms; shared between best friends on the playground; in the form of sympathy - said by a girl to a boy, as the respect continues but the relationship does not. It is said too loudly by parents to embarassed children in the company of their friends, and by grown children - to their fading parents in hospital beds. The words are thought in the company of the photograph and said in the company of the gravestone. It is how we end our phone calls and our letters... the words at the bottom of the page that trump all those above it, a way to gracefully finish a message, however important or trivial, with the most meaningful gift of all : the communication of love. And yet the words themselves have been the victims of triviality, a ready replacement for lesser salutations among near strangers, burst forth casually as "love ya." Truly? To what degree? Why, how much, and for how long? These are questions befitting of the stature of love, though not the everyday banter of vague acquaintance. The words have also been twisted by the dark nature of deceit : To say "I love you" with a dramatic measure of synthetic emotion; a snare set by those who prey uponn fellow humanity, driven to whatever selfish end, to gain access to another's body, or their money, or their opportunity. In this realm, the proclamation is disgraced by one seeking to gain rather than to give. In any case, and by whatever inspiration, these words are woven deeply in to the fibers of our existence. Our longing to hear them from the right place is maddeningly and simultaneously our finest strength and our most gentle weakness.The album "I and Love and You" is unashamedly defined by such a dynamic of duality. As living people, we are bound by this unavoidable parallel. We are powerful yet weak, capable yet temporary. Inevitably, an attempt to place honesty within an artistic avenue will follow suit. This is a piece which shows us as we are : products of love surrounded by struggle. The music herein is, in many ways, readable as both a milestone and an arrival. A chapter in the story of young men, it bridges the space between the uncertainty of youth and the reality of it's release. The record is full with the quality of the question and response. As far as questions go, there are plenty-normally residing within the tone and delivery of the lyrics themselves, which, ironically, are sung with so much confidence. Among songs and thoughts so driven and purposeful, the most basic relatable doubt comes through with a resounding clarity. Outside of the eternal theme of romantic love, the album speaks thankfully upon a landscape of light-filled rooms, word-filled pages, time machines, forgiveness, singing birds, ocean waves, art ,change, confessions of shortcomings, and reasons to continue on. Hope and a cause for smiling follow naturally. In the midst of all this, there are allusions to the less-than-ideal conditions of life : the loss of memory, the inability to control temper, insecurity, indecision, jaded indifference, and the general plague of former and current weakness. "I and Love and You" is an album of obvious human creation, chracterized by it's best and it's worst. Emotional imperfection is a reality for those who recorded the piece, just as it is for those who will hear it. The conclusion of the song from which the title is taken admits that the words "I love you" have become "hard to say". And perhaps that difficulty is as common as it's counterpart. Perhaps the inability to say these heaviest of words is as much a part of life as the lighthearted candor of those who say them without any difficulty at all. And so it ends with the phrase whispered to and by those of us most defeated and most elated... I and love and you..."
Friday, October 2, 2009
TWLOHA Webcast
If someone could watch this for me and tell me what it's like that would be awesome! because i will be at youth group the night of this webcast, but i'd like to know how good it is =)
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About Me
- Cassandra Lee
- i've grown up in the Orlando area my whole life. my names cassie, but most people call me lassie. this blog is my personal plus my FF5 fansite blog. So i'll post different things a lot.